Friends

Let’s talk Friends, no not those Friends…Although having Phoebe, Rachel and Monica in your phonebook would be a blast.

How do you measure your relationships? Is it by the amount of people you know on Facebook? Can you name all the people you follow on Facebook?

How do you decide that a person is a large part of your life?

Do you believe friends come and go and are in your life for a reason?

I’ve been contemplating some of these questions after a chat I had with one of my best friends (and lucky me cousin) who lives too far away from me. We were discussing how before we moved to our new towns we had a core group of friends who we’d go to the lake with, get ice cream just because or sit and watch a movies on a Saturday night (not our high school friends fyi) just because we were all friends and we loved to enjoy each other’s company. We cared about birthday’s, weddings, births etc. Then we both moved.

Now we have friends that we occasionally see or celebrate things with but something is missing. The feeling of knowing you could call your friends up and plan a Sat BBQ, talk to them about anything and not worry about anything is shadowed by “What is the excuse going to be this time or Am I bothering this person” def something you shouldn’t think when you call a friend.

Has this happened to you? Did you move to a new town and have to start over in the friends department? How did you adjust?

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17 thoughts on “Friends

  1. I moved to a new town almost 2 years ago, but I’m still in the same state and actually not that far (45min or so) from all of my “best friends”. Most I have heard from further than Facebook since I became a mother and got married. I could make excuses as to why I haven’t contacted them either, but in all actuality I am just content going to work, going to school and then coming home to my family.

  2. I have had to quit working and driving due to a seizure disorder…I have found that now I have very few friends and none that I see more than once a month. My social life has taken a complete nose dive and it is incredibly hard, but I am learning to enjoy the company of myself and my faithful four legged daughter Izzy! :)

  3. Natalia is my closest and dearest friend. We came together and created our blog as a way to stay in contact and find out about all of the little details we were experiencing. It has made us so much closer…since that sense, I love social media and its impact on us!
    -Savannah
    xo

  4. I definitely understand this. Last year, I got married and my husband and I moved from FL to NYC to pursue our doctorates. We’re almost a year into this and I feel like I have no real friends who I can call just because or hang out with for no reason. I’m really hoping there’s a solution to this, but I don’t see a simple way to just “go get friends.”

  5. I think it’s just a part of growing up. We’re not all living our adult life at the same pace. One of my hs best friends starting having kids before I was even done with college (she didn’t attend). I’m just now having my first, 11 years after graduating hs. As for my college friends, they are all over the darn globe so facebook it is!

  6. I joined some meetup groups to meet new people. I’ve had mixed results but in general I say stick with female only groups, like book clubs, and you’ll meet cool people in the same boat (and some weirdos that make for good stories too!)

  7. I was just talking about this on Facebook the other day – I commented how when we were 5 you could ask someone to go swing with you and you were friends lol. I am finding it hard to make new friends as an adult. Hubby and I had a core group of friends but as of late they’ve moved (one couple all the way to Spain) or just gotten so busy with their own lives they never have time to do anything. Not to mention I hate always being the one doing the asking and organizing of getting together. I wish I had a girlfriend I could just call up and say “Let’s go do something” – the two I have live in NJ and DC, lol.

  8. I am about to move an hour and a half away from where I currently live, but will remain in the same state. I have pondered this question and truly hope that I can retain the friendships that mean the most to me. Only time will tell I suppose. Good luck in your new city :)

  9. I live and work on a cattle station in the ‘middle of no where’ and so have left the home roots and friendships. I find that the true friends are there to talk to when you need them and when they need you. It is give and take. It is hard to make new friends and maintain new friendships with distance and sometimes you really miss those people that you could just hang out with and be yourself. Making new friends takes effort and social occasions. Sometimes you just meet someone at gatherings who you really get along with so you look each other up and try to keep a facebook friendship going until the next time you hit the town. I have people I would consider friends scattered from one end of the country to the other. We may not see each other much or even talk all that often but when needed we are there for each other (and well when you do see each other it is like you never had that space between).

  10. Making new friends as a grown-up is ROUGH! I grew up in the area I live now, but went away to college and sort of lost touch with my high school buddies. I have one friend from high school that I still see (maybe 2-4 times a year). I go to church, and in most churches I’ve ever been to it’s easy to get lost in the crowd. But I’ve gotten involved in a mom’s group, and I went on a women’s retreat, and now I feel like I have some friends! Now, I don’t feel as close to these ladies as I have with other groups of friends in the past, but I think that’s just because I haven’t had much one on one time with any of them – usually we’re all in a group and often preoccupied with our children. But I’m starting to feel less like “the new girl” and more included, and it feels nice! I know if I had a crisis situation arise, they’d be there, and that really means something!

  11. Great post meg! :) There are a few chicks in my current city that I enjoy being around, we just don’t hang out very often.It seems we only find time for each other when the men in our lives have a show or rehearsal. Maybe that’s just part of the lifestyle we have agreed to be part of by being with these fellas. So what if everyone else I hang out with is a guy, at least i know i always have someone to watch a game with. And ya know I’ve come to the conclusion that, while I don’t have any “close friends” down here, it’s ok. I know that I have some AMAZING friends that love and support me. When i do get to spend time with those friends it’s 100 times better than doing silly little stuff with random people I hardly know. So even if my best friends live in Las Vegas, Tulsa & Morris, at least i still have “BEST FRIENDS.” :)

  12. I have been in the same town for 11 years. The past 6 i have had what i thought were friends but have come to the realization that they are not real “friends” i still talk to them but have grown distant and branched out to find real people who are real friends the ones you can tell anything, you can call anytime and love to just hang out with!

  13. I haven’t moved and lost friends, I found out I was pregnant when I was 22 and it was with my now husband of 3 years but we weren’t married at the time and my friends didn’t like him. So when I told my friends I was keeping the baby and staying with my boyfriend( of 5 years) at the time the told me I was selfish and left! Now I have friends and I would consider mentors all over the world! ( peoe that have what I want and know me on a first name bases) people leave, just open your eyes to possibilities and opportunities! Maybe I was selfish but I was doing was was right for me and what I wanted for my life. Live your life to the fullest. As if there is no tomorrow! Be proud to be you!

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